


Short-Circuit

by TinyValiance



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Introspection, M/M, a thinkpiece on hanbin, the smut is too fluffy to be considered smut in my opinion tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-30 00:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13938555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyValiance/pseuds/TinyValiance
Summary: The thing about Hanbin was that his mind was always working, always overanalyzing and driving itself crazy. It was always in motion. Hanbin did not act without thinking, ever. (But then there was Bobby.)





	Short-Circuit

**Author's Note:**

> ♥ PLEASE READ! THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME!♥
> 
> 1\. I want to make it clear that these people in the story are just characters based on real people. This is my interpretation of them. My writing does not reflect on any real people involved in this story. Please do not repost this story anywhere or post a link to this story anywhere. Tumblr is the only exception. I do not want it on Twitter, Instagram, or anywhere a member of iKon or any other kpop star in this story can see it (if they see it on Tumblr, then whatever, Tumblr feels more private). Do not send this story to them. Please keep this story safe here! Respect their privacy and mine.
> 
> 2\. WARNINGS: none really! light smut if you could even call it that lmao. and minor description of an anxiety disorder.
> 
> 3\. 3. Please comment! No matter how long the story is up, I will always appreciate comments. I love all feedback. Nice comments are appreciated more than you know. Also, I am not perfect, I want to improve! If you think I could do something better in terms of characterization, grammar and wording (etc), please tell me. Take care and thank you for reading! xo.

Kim Hanbin thought about everything before he ever did anything. He was mindful and meticulous to a pathological degree. He understood the importance of making decisions rationally, not emotionally. If he had made all his decisions by putting a higher consideration on emotion, he would have been the cause of iKON’s downfall a long time ago.

The problem with Hanbin was that somewhere in time, his mindfulness turned into paranoia, and his rational decision-making process was overrun by anxiety. He was logical and steady when it came to business, when it came to keeping his members in line and making sure they got through their evaluations, their practices, their album recording, their debut, their stages. It kept him sane to have a plan and enforce it. But his thoughts and worries ran through his mind over and over and over, tiring and dizzying to the point Hanbin could not stand on his own two feet without the world spinning and feeling as thought it would crash down on him if he dropped it. His shoulders were heavy. He felt like he was weighed down, falling. The thoughts never rested.

Hanbin and Bobby were in the bathroom in the morning. Bobby had gone back to sleep after breakfast and Hanbin just had not woken up until then. They were supposed to meet the others for a long day of practice quite soon.

Hanbin could barely lift his body out of bed when he woke up. The thoughts woke up with him. They ran through his mind at night in skewed symbols and a water-colour reality painted of the world he knew. The world he did not know well enough. He thought about it, and thought, and thought… and rolled out of bed. Literally. He was always falling.

Hanbin rinsed his face and dried it with a towel, wiping water clear from his vision. Bobby brushed his teeth beside him, mouth foamy, hair shaggy over his eyes as he lazily scrubbed.

Hanbin was a good leader, even when he snapped. The group knew that the anxiety got to him. Hanbin appreciated that. The problem was that the anxiety did not go away after he snapped. It was an explosion of frustration but it never drained him of the lava smouldering below the surface, always burning him from the inside. Maybe he never really let out all his frustrations at all. Maybe his explosions only served to release a congregation of black smoke from his cogs overworking in his skull.

Bobby spit and rinsed out his mouth. Hanbin placed lotion on his own cheeks to look less dead. He was not sure colour was necessary at this point, but for promotions it would again be. For now he could be glossy and lifeless as long as he could ensure the others would flourish.

The thing about Hanbin was that his mind was always working, always overanalyzing and driving itself crazy. It was always in motion. Hanbin did not act without thinking, ever.

Bobby lifted his head and patted skincare liquid onto his cheeks, tightening the skin, treating the breakouts and dry skin cells to soften his complexion. He huffed out a determined breath, ready to start the day, or convincing himself he was ready, at least. His eyes were chubby, swollen and half-open, lips stung pink by the peppermint toothpaste. Bobby was soft.

Nobody – not even Hanbin – knew what would happen if the thoughts _stopped_. If the anxiety overtook him and he could no longer consider real or imagined consequences. If he burned out.

Hanbin grabbed Bobby’s head and turned the boy’s face to meet Hanbin’s lips.

And for the first time in his life Hanbin’s brain overheated and shut down, and Hanbin did not think about what he was doing at all, not considering it for even a fleeting moment of curiosity. Nothing.

Bobby held his breath but did not stop Hanbin from kissing him. Hanbin moved his lips to kiss Bobby again, to drag him in, to encourage him to do _something_. Bobby gradually loosened up, dropped his hands to rest on Hanbin’s waist. He kissed back. Joy exploded in Hanbin, rolled through him in waves and he poured it all into the kiss, into Bobby’s mouth with his tongue and teeth and a smile tugging on his lips.

Bobby pushed Hanbin against the wall and kissed him harder. Heart soaring, Hanbin threw his arms around Bobby’s neck and hugged him as tight as he could. He felt bunny teeth against his bottom lip but he did not pay it any mind. He did not think. He just felt, he felt everything.

Bobby moved his lips to the crook of Hanbin’s neck and Hanbin giggled at the contact. Bobby said, “Thank you.” He kissed Hanbin’s neck.

Hanbin asked, “Why ‘thank you’?”

“You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” Bobby said. He trailed kisses down the length of Hanbin’s neck, plush lips against skin, wholehearted but not rough enough to leave marks.

Hanbin gave a soft laugh. How ironic Bobby’s statement was. “I have a pretty good idea.”

Bobby moved his lips against Hanbin’s again. Hanbin led the kiss this time, capturing Bobby’s lips in between the boy’s words. “I wanted you to want it. So thank you for doing something.”

“My pleasure?” Hanbin smiled, and Bobby smiled against his lips, knocking teeth against teeth. Bobby closed his mouth shyly and pushed his forehead against Hanbin’s. Hanbin pushed back against him, nuzzling.

Bobby pushed closer against Hanbin and Hanbin felt the ‘ _want’_ in his sweatpants. Oh.

Hanbin moved back, smile faltering. “Jiwon… it’s not just that.”

Bobby’s eyes opened. “Not just what?”

Hanbin swallowed a lump in his throat and looked down. “Not just that.”

Bobby held Hanbin’s hips and rubbed his thumbs over them through the material of his shirt.

“Me too,” Bobby said. Hanbin’s heart burst and bled glitter. “I’ve thought about everything. I’d like everything with you, if that’s okay.”

“ _Me too_ ,” Hanbin breathed, and for once he could empathize word for word, put the word ‘think’ in the past tense. “I thought about it too.”

Maybe it was a little soon to admit to love but Hanbin was only just getting a handle on his emotions, so he felt it was better to take his time.

“But,” Bobby smiled, “I still want this,” and pushed against Hanbin again.

Hanbin said, “But we don’t have time…”

“We have time,” Bobby said. He lowered himself to his knees. “I’ve been waiting too long. We can keep them waiting ten more minutes.”

Hanbin grabbed Bobby’s shaggy hair, knotted his fingers through it. He laughed.

“Pass me that,” Bobby nodded backwards to the bathroom counter.

Hanbin leaned forward to drop the lotion into Bobby’s hand. He pulled down Hanbin’s sweatpants, slow as he worked the elastic waistband down the length of his cock. Careful. Or maybe just to savour the moment. Hanbin still was not thinking about it.

He slicked his own hand with lotion and jerked himself off as he wrapped his lips around Hanbin’s cock. He sunk down on him slowly, twisting with the wrist opposite to that on his own cock. He worked his hand over himself, just over the band of his own sweats. Hanbin got dizzy if he looked down for two long but Bobby was a type of intoxication that Hanbin did not mind losing his mind to.

Unsteady on his feet, Hanbin dropped his head to rest on the wall. Bobby sucked him off in the hollows of his cheeks, along strokes of his tongue. It was inelegant and unpracticed, and at any other time the ineptitude would cause Hanbin’s blood pressure to spike, but Hanbin did not care at all, could not care at all in the moment. He pulled Bobby’s hair to work the kinks out of it. Bobby moaned and the vibrations rolled through Hanbin like aftershocks.

After a whispered warning and a pat to Bobby’s head, Hanbin came in ribbons into Bobby’s mouth. Bobby pulled off to swallow and cough. Hanbin laughed at him but pet him comfortingly. Bobby jerked himself in more fervent strokes and came shortly after, gasping and dropping his weight onto his bottom. Hanbin empathized. He had to hold onto the towel railing for support.

After a moment to collect himself, Bobby pushed up Hanbin’s shirt and kissed the muscle there, dragged his tongue up the dip in his stomach where indistinct abs parted along the middle. Hanbin held Bobby’s ribcage and pulled him upward to help Bobby stand.

Bobby winced a little as he put weight on his legs but overcame the ache quickly to step in between Hanbin’s thighs. He kissed him again, lips only touching lips, slow and reserved like a farewell. Hanbin supposed he was being polite.

“Do I taste that bad?” Hanbin joked.

Bobby pulled away and scrunched his nose which made Hanbin giggle again. Bobby smiled at the sound.

“You wanna talk?” Bobby asked, voice low and rough. He caressed his hands around Hanbin’s waist, to his back and around to the front again. Hanbin felt all-encompassed and he loved it.

Hanbin shook his head. “I’m not thinking about it too hard.”

Bobby cackled a little static-y laugh at the pun and his head fell forward to rest on Hanbin’s shoulder. “That’s not like you,” Bobby commented.

Hanbin gave a short, breathy laugh. “That’s a good thing. This would be the part where I run away to hide under the blanket and scream.” He hugged him tightly. “We should go,” Hanbin said. Bobby nodded, dropped a kiss on Hanbin’s shoulder before pulled away. Hanbin caught his reflection in the bathroom mirror and saw colour in his cheeks.

Bobby drank some water while Hanbin headed to the front door to wait for Bobby to be done fixing himself enough to hide his shame – both their shame – enough to present themselves to the other members. It was not that they were ashamed of each other, but that it was not an easy realization to bear the weight of five scandalized gazes for. There would come a better time to explain.

Bobby rejoined Hanbin with a hand placed on the boy’s hip. Hanbin placed his arm around Bobby’s back and Bobby’s hand fell. They decided to get coffee and ignore the members’ impatient text messages. Hanbin’s brain had begun turning slowly once more when the post-sex euphoria wore off. Bobby laughed. Hanbin relaxed. The fire in Hanbin’s stomach was a happy heat.

The thing about thinking was that Hanbin had anxiety and existential dread and the welfare of six kids on his shoulders and his thoughts never ended up anywhere good. Bobby had his hands around Hanbin’s heart and his love on Hanbin’s brain, and he helped to stop the thoughts, for a moment.

But Hanbin was always falling.

**Author's Note:**

> I usually cannot finish anything in a timely manner but I am working on a few fics right now and had inspo for this little thing?? Jupiter is truly in retrograde. Everybody take time to reflect on yourselves and the negative traits/vices of your personality that might be holding you back from flourishing! I am a cancer and already a philosophical person so this is probably affecting me differently lmao, but however youre gonna go through this, do your best!! ~


End file.
